This is all too familiar.

This is happening for the third major time in my life i can feel it.
My mom left me.
Travis left me.
Now you are going to leave me all of you.
You said you would always support me no matter what i did.
Now you are ganging up on me because i'm not to your satisfaction?
I'm so sorry but i can't change anymore.
I was actually happy for a while.
I have had nightmares two nights in a row worrying about this.
No matter where i go or who i hang out with i'm still dwelling on what you are going to say to me today.
It's probably that i'm a whore and i need to get my life together.
You just think that i'm a whore because you all knew me when i was trying to get over Travis or was dating Travis.
I'm sorry that i'm not up to your standards.
I just don't know what to do.
There are three of you that determine my fate.
One is kind and actually sincerely cares about me and i know that.
I can feel it in my heart and i trust her solely with everything
and i hope against hope that she wont leave me
that would anihilate me more than Travis ever could.
Another one of you is someone i thought cared for me
and genuinely liked me as a person.
Now i see you dripping with disdain waiting in the sidelines talking shit on me
with your huge guarddog of an Uncle calling me names over myspace.
Than there is the third.
Someone i barely know and can definitely live without.
Someone who matters not.
I hope you people understand that i'm going to blame myself no matter how many times you tell me that's it's just a clash of personalites?
I blamed myself when my mom left.
I mean honestly it had to have been someone's fault if she left me for someone who hit her.
I blamed myself for Travis leaving because i know he couldn't handle me anymore.
I could tell i was breaking him.
Now you.
Please don't make me have to heal for another eight monthes.