Light touch my hand in a dream of Golden Skans.

A lot has happened.
Isaac doesn't like me.
I still like him a lot.
I'm so annoyed with myself.
I can't control what i want and how eagerly i want it.
That is so frustrating.
Isaac was kicked out of the band.
And i selfishly was glad because i hated him being on tour
around girls and being away.
Except i don't have him so why should i care?
Yeah yeah yeah.
But my thought is maybe once he sees me again he'll want to be with me.
So here is hoping i look hot the next time i see him.

I think my best friend is a liar. I think she is shady.
No one can be that innocent.
I wish she would just show her real self.
Also i feel like i barely know her.
She was a lot different at the beginning now i know nothing about her life.
And Rick feels like he needs to break up with his girlfriend and focus on God but he likes Shelby a lot. But she hangs out with other guys all the time.
And i'm sick of being Rick's reassurance man.
Everyday i have to reassure him that he isn't a piece of crap that no one likes.
And i feel like he's using me to get to my best friend.
I feel pretty worthless.

And on top of everything i'm in a fight with my cousin.
I feel so betrayed.
Which she's not even worth talking about.
I forgive her but i don't think i want to be friends with her.
It just made me a person i didn't want to be.